it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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