I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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