My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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