Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
