I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
