weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
