I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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