So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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