I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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