oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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