This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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