I have demons in me.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
