You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
