You can't motorboat a personality
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
