And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
