Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
