i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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