The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
