I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
