The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
