I want to have your abortion
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
