Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
