I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
