She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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