The best revenge is premature balding
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
