Even the bartender felt bad for me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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