how can u be prego again
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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