Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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