so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
