You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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