We're like a lot better than the average bears
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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