she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
