Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
They have beer where we have blood.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
