Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i out mim tonsoeep
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