I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
