Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
