Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
