Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
