our cab driver is having phone sex.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
