How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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