I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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