i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I AM VODKA MAN
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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