were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
