Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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