nut hugger
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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