Michael Bay diarrhea
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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