she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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