So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She tied me up with her honor cords...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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