I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
