Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
