Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
