So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
