so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
