Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
