just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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