I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
