last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
