i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
