I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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