I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
