we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
