girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
