it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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